An honest perspective on Indian marriage culture in ‘Indian Matchmaking’

When year-old Manisha Agarwal name changed logged on to a dating app for the first time, she was paralysed with fear. Married for 15 years, she needed a distraction from her sexless and loveless marriage , but was scared she would be caught in the act. Here someone always knows you or one of your acquaintances. Unhappy with her unfulfilling married life, Agarwal desperately wanted to find someone she could connect with. She knew she could not risk having an affair with a friend, so she decided to look for potential partners on a dating app. For the latest news and more, follow HuffPost India on Twitter , Facebook , and subscribe to our newsletter. She was looking for casual sex, and knew nobody would swipe right for her if she only mentioned her name and age. Agarwal is just one of the many married women in India who use dating apps to find companionship.

What Modern Arranged Marriages Really Look Like

If anyone told me I would fall in love with someone I met online, I would have laughed until it hurt. After a string of bad relationships, my parents urged me to find a good desi boy to marry before I turned So I signed up for the dating site upon hearing successful stories of my friends finding their spouses online.

But unlike my American friends, the hardships of Indian online dating went far beyond being stood up or ghosted.

Then they can actually meet up and discuss serious matters, including love and marriage. To avoid lots of dating mistakes and to find an ideal Indian date, you.

Generally, parents facilitate talks and perhaps even take decisions. This traditional system seems to work given that divorce rates in India are among the lowest in the world , albeit some argue it is problematic. But with the proliferation of dating apps and evolution of matrimoniall websites, the concept of arranged marriage is changing. The bride and groom are often able to take the reins, so coercion is lower and efficacy, higher.

However, when an Indian wants to meet another Indian outside the country, the search can be tough. Cue Dil Mil.

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I wasn’t even sure I wanted to have dessert with him. And though arranged marriages may seem like a relic of a bygone age, they are still surprisingly popular around the world. An arranged marriage is a marital union planned by the families, typically parents, of the couple.

Unlike other Indian dating sites, EliteSingles puts finding you a compatible partner first. Our members are all here looking for long-term love – join them today and.

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The Evolution of Indian Arranged Marriages

The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar. But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture.

As an Indian-American girl growing up in Upstate New York, one part of my culture that was especially easy to brag about was weddings.

Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ Is The Talk Of India — And Not In A Good marriage and glorifies it as a harmless, quirky alternative to dating.

This is not because I am some kind of self-hating racist. I am very proud to be a British Indian woman. Nor is it that I am not attracted to Indian men. My reluctance to settle down with an Indian guy is more about the message it sends out. While older generations might reach straight for the smelling salts, younger generations often have more complex reactions to interracial couples.

I regularly write feminist articles, and have published two comic novels — Virgin and Not at Easy — all about young women exploring their sexuality and, shock horror, their vaginas. It might not be easy. Interracial and interfaith relationships bring added challenges, be they tough compromises or external negativity, yet they promote integration and help erase stereotypes in a way that mere words cannot. When you date outside your background, you learn about a different culture and experience everything firsthand, from the fresh perspectives to the food.

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Date, kiss or marry … how Tinder is rewriting India’s rules of engagement

These men and women — or boys and girls, as they are referred to in Indian society, perhaps to reinforce their youth and innocence — of Indian origin are in their 20s and 30s, living in India and the US. Credit: Netflix. Indian Matchmaking just takes this concept further. Of course, each of these comes with their own good, bad and ugly.

FEATURED BY FORBES, TECHCRUNCH & MORE** One relationship per hour & one marriage per day reported to Dil Mil. With over 20 million matches made.

Y usuf Khan has a four-sentence formula for finding love. Khan is 24 — high time, according to his parents, he started looking for a wife. If he cannot fit women into his busy work schedule, they say, they can always start asking around friends and family for a suitable match. Khan does not tell his parents, but he goes on at least one new Tinder date every month. Despite pressure from the family, he is in no rush to marry.

In rapidly developing India, the process of finding love is in the midst of a revolution. Spurred by apps such as Tinder, Woo and TrulyMadly , the old tradition of arranged marriage is giving way to a new, westernised style of dating, where growing numbers of people are choosing to date for fun, without the end goal of marriage. Exposure to western culture has seen the gradual breakdown of the traditional Indian family; arranged marriages have become less formal; more people are choosing to live in separate homes to their parents or in-laws; and dating and sex out of wedlock are becoming increasingly common.

By doing so, the government has drawn an invisible line between those who want to date, and those who want to marry, as though the two groups are unrelated. Self-segregation between these two groups already exists. In the past decade, hundreds of matrimonial websites, such as shaadi.

I Thought I’d Found My Husband On An Indian Dating Site, But Astrology Broke Us Up

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Netflix docu-series Indian Matchmaking ends with a montage of happy, elderly couples in a bid to validate the concept of arranged marriage. Married for decades, these couples, especially women, seemingly, had no say in choosing their partners and unquestioningly agreed to what their parents wanted. In India, men and women are expected to get married when they reach a certain age as there is a fear that they would not find the right partner, or no partner at all, as they grow older.

It is , but the perception still holds true across caste, class and communities. The biological clock, of course, has a role to play in the institution that largely bases itself on procreation so as to continue the lineage. However, with men and women becoming more vocal about their choices, arranged marriage in India has been witnessing an evolution of sorts. While parents initiate the process in most cases, it is their children who are taking the final call, in a set-up that is being dubbed as semi-arranged marriage.

Saurabh Goswami, founder, Ultra Rich Match, which deals in matchmaking among the affluent, told indianexpress. As they age, say when the girl or boy is about , they contact us directly.

Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’? It isn’t so different from modern British dating…

Jump to navigation. Our intelligent matchmaking system means we surpass other Indian dating sites by helping you pick out the very best potential partners for you. First, we use our personality test — which every new member takes — to determine how open, conscientious, extraverted, agreeable and neurotic you are, and match you with potential partners accordingly.

Secondly, we take factors like your level of education, income and location into account. Lastly, we take a look at your preferences and try to send you matches closest to your ideal idea of a partner. For most singles in the US, dating has only gotten harder; careers have taken over, and meeting new people outside of your friendship circle seems near impossible.

to , a popular Indian dating site bringing together matches already made in heaven. It’s arranged marriage done the modern way.

Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody.

A cheerful year-old Guyanese-American dancer with Indian roots who simply wants to find a good person to be her husband. These are some of the singles on the new Netflix original series Indian Matchmaking , a reality TV show about arranged marriages in Indian culture. The show follows Sima Taparia, a professional matchmaker from Mumbai, as she jets around the world, quizzing clients on their preferences, handing them “biodatas” for potentially compatible mates that’s the term she uses for what seem to be a cross between a resume and a dating profile and ultimately introducing them to prospective spouses.

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What influences our youth to set aside their enterprising, free-wheeling spirit to follow the well-trodden path of arranged marriages? Part of the answer lies in the deep socialisation process, which is woven into the fabric of the close-knit extended Indian family, and its rootedness in the larger network of society. The young too seem to believe in the cultural definition of marriage as a family affair, rather than an individual undertaking.

Harmony and shared values arising from common backgrounds are seen as more important than individual attraction.

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All the emotions of that time came rushing back while she watched Netflix’s newest ‘dating show’: Indian Matchmaking. The reality show about a high-flying Indian matchmaker named Sima Taparia has spawned thousands of articles, social media takes, critiques and memes. More importantly, it’s inspired real-life conversations about what it means to be a young South Asian person trying to navigate marriage, love — and yes, parental expectations. Many young South Asian Australians told ABC Life they’ve seen aspects of their real lives being played out in the show, but that of course, one reality program could never capture the myriad experiences of people across many communities, language groups, religions, genders, sexualities, traditions and castes of the subcontinental region.

Some have given up on the tradition by choosing a partner through Western dating, while others have modernised it and made it work for them. A common thread among all was the question: “How do I keep my parents happy while also doing what I need for myself? For Manimekalai, the force of tradition and expectation from her family to agree to the marriage was strong.

Dating Rules Indian Guys Need to Follow – Stand Up Comedy by Kenny Sebastian


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